The inside of an anxious mind feels like accidentally hosting a high school party.

Lots of loud noise, frivolous drama, and someone just had sex in your parent’s bedroom.

The best way to shut it down is to turn the music off. 

The music stops and the room gets quiet. People don't know what to do with silence. 

They have attention now. They didn’t want to be heard. They just wanted to shout. And with the music down, they get self-conscious about being loud.

Turn the music down. 

And step to the side. Watch the people, the drama, the discomfort that arises with the attention and honesty that quiet requires.

Watch as they slowly look around, unsure of what to do. Sit back, be still, and observe. You are not kicking anyone out— you are holding space for their voices to be heard.

Maybe a few come to share what is on their minds. Give them some attention, some compassion, meet their needs and they will leave. While the others will scramble out on their own, looking for another place to continue shouting into space.

Turn the music down and breathe.

When the mind feels anxious, like a high school party, the breath gives us the tool to turn the music off in our mind. No longer enabling the unhealthy coping mechanisms of high school drama— the breath slows things down and brings attention to the core of what is there. 

Those who can’t handle actual attention, those who are there just because they have fun stirring stuff up, will leave. And then, you can have a conversation with the few left at the party and give them what they need. 

The next time your mind feels like a high school party, breathe. 

The experience of anxiety has a wide range and is different for everyone. This is a reflection on what it feels like for me most recently and how the breath has supported my experience— this is not a cure-all. This is one small step and below is a brief breath practice to try.

Taking time to pause and be mindful throughout the day can make a big impact on your mood and mind. Lunch is a great time to intentionally pause. Here are a few simple ways to make your lunch break more mindful.

• Eat outside

  • Step out of the fluorescents and into the sunlight. Find a calm, quiet place to sit and relax. If your office doesn’t have outdoor space, try to find a nice window or quiet area away from your computer screen to breathe. If there is space, take a short walk after to move your body and unwind your mind. (Packing your lunch will help you save money and have more time to sit and unwind).

• Enjoy silence

  • Try eating in silence. Sit in a quiet space by yourself and let your mind refresh.

• Eat more mindfully

  • Pay attention to how you eat. Notice how each bite tastes, observing the details. Observe how the body chews. Focus your attention on eating the food before you.

• Sit and rest your eyes

  • Step away from screens, close your eyes and breathe. Even one minute of this can make a big difference. 

• Read 

  • Allow your mind to escape to a far off place, guided by your book. This is a great way to give your mind a pause and restore.

I accomplished something great today. I stopped.

I did not finish my to-do list. I did not push myself too far. Instead, I listened to my body and my mind. I got overwhelmed, and I took a step back.

When I stopped, I was able to see things more clearly. The to-do list didn’t matter so much. I stopped doing and I started being. 

When I stopped, I realized that pushing myself to do a million things to “reach my potential” would never get me that result. If I don’t offer myself the time and space to be present with all that I already am, I will never reach the fullness that already lies within.

So take time today and stop. Leave your phone and your to-do list behind. Go on a walk. Feel the air on your skin. Let the sun kiss your face. Feel your breath. And meet yourself with grace.

Today, and every day, my hope is that you throw the to-do list away. Stop. So that you can see that you already have and already are all hoped and dreamed.