Anxiety is like a High School Party

The inside of an anxious mind feels like accidentally hosting a high school party.

Lots of loud noise, frivolous drama, and someone just had sex in your parent’s bedroom.

The best way to shut it down is to turn the music off. 

The music stops and the room gets quiet. People don't know what to do with silence. 

They have attention now. They didn’t want to be heard. They just wanted to shout. And with the music down, they get self-conscious about being loud.

Turn the music down. 

And step to the side. Watch the people, the drama, the discomfort that arises with the attention and honesty that quiet requires.

Watch as they slowly look around, unsure of what to do. Sit back, be still, and observe. You are not kicking anyone out— you are holding space for their voices to be heard.

Maybe a few come to share what is on their minds. Give them some attention, some compassion, meet their needs and they will leave. While the others will scramble out on their own, looking for another place to continue shouting into space.

Turn the music down and breathe.

When the mind feels anxious, like a high school party, the breath gives us the tool to turn the music off in our mind. No longer enabling the unhealthy coping mechanisms of high school drama— the breath slows things down and brings attention to the core of what is there. 

Those who can’t handle actual attention, those who are there just because they have fun stirring stuff up, will leave. And then, you can have a conversation with the few left at the party and give them what they need. 

The next time your mind feels like a high school party, breathe. 

The experience of anxiety has a wide range and is different for everyone. This is a reflection on what it feels like for me most recently and how the breath has supported my experience— this is not a cure-all. This is one small step and below is a brief breath practice to try.