No.

When you know it isn’t right

Your own destiny you try to fight

Sometimes saying yes dims your inner light

It is good to say yes, but you also need to say no.

As a people pleaser, “yes” has been one of the most prominent words of my vocabulary. And while saying yes is a helpful tool to being receptive to the limitless possibilities this life has to offer (from my place of privilege in the Western world…), saying “no” equally opens up those opportunities.

I know it sounds counter intuitive, but let me explain. Deep down inside, each and every one of us knows what we are meant to do. There is a part of each of us that the world needs to shine to create a better space. But that light gets dimmed throughout our lives by the over shadows of what society tells us what we “should” do in this world. But when we learn to communicate with our souls and allow that light to shine bright, we are co-creating what the world needs by simply being our true selves. While being yourself is a simple task, it is seldom easy.

So a lot of this saying “yes” seems to be a great thing because it opens up opportunities and you never know where things might lead. But often, I find myself saying “yes” to things even when I know it is not the right fit for me. And when you say yes to things that aren’t right for you, while they may still be fine experiences to have, they shut down the space for what you truly want and desire to enter. So I suppose saying “no” is both a lesson in learning to listen to what you truly want in this world and then not settling.

I am not saying that you will get exactly what you want right away. And I am not saying you wont have to work hard. Because you will. But you will be able to feel it when it is right. You will know that you are on the right path to something, while you may not know exactly what that might be.

And when you find yourself settling, you will learn to feel that too. If you find yourself saying yes to things that you know aren’t right for you, don’t beat yourself up. First be proud of yourself for learning to recognize that feeling because awareness is the first step to stimulating positive change. So when you notice it, you are making great strides as you can improve the next time or get out of whatever situation gives you that feeling.

By saying no to mediocrity you are saying yes to a world of possibility. So don’t settle for the things in life that seem and sound logical but feel dull. Don’t date the guy that your parents and friends like but doesn’t give you butterflies. Don’t take the job that has security and drains all of your time. Say no to those things that do not serve you and your sacred inner light. By saying no, you are loving and accepting your true self and honoring your self-worth. In saying no to those things that simply seem fine, you are asking yourself to be more, to honor your truth, and to seek the life and the love you know you deserve. Because you are extraordinary and you deserve every ounce of greatness and magic you’ve ever dreamed since the time you were three. As you say no to the things that sound great, but your soul hates, your true destiny awaits.

You can have everything you want in this world and more. But you must create the space for it to enter.

So to summarize:

  1. Love yourself and know that you are worthy of greatness. Every inch of you from the inside out deserves the greatest love this life can offer. Start by giving this love to yourself each day. Recognize your greatness. Do not hide your inner light. Learn to love every part of you, this is the first step to greatness. Know that the answers are inside of you.
  1. Learn to listen to your inner light. Simply begin to notice what feels right to you. Ask yourself you’ve always wanted to do, but never really thought about actually doing it. Make a list of things that speak to you and bring out the light in you. Write down everything that you lose time and find yourself in. No matter how seemingly small. Take a deep inhale, and exhale, and see how it feels when you think about those things. Carry this feeling with you, and know whenever you start to feel lost and confused again, you can return to this space by simply closing your eyes and finding your breath. Know that the answers are within you and learn to listen. ((Nature tends to have a way of whispering these secrets to us as well, so being outside always helps, see what the leaves have to say!))
  1. As you learn to listen to your inner light, you start to notice what doesn’t feel right. This might be surprising and unsettling, as many things in your life that seem great might not feed your inner flame. Rather than being disappointed or upset, be excited that you are learning to listen to your light. Try to make simple steps to change the things in your life that don’t feel right. Write down those things that don’t feel right and create a list of ways you could change those situations. And when opportunities present themselves, find your breath and see how it feels. Let that moment guide you in your decisions. Say yes if you feel it. And if not say no, trusting that the right fit will come to you. Do not fear, have faith that it will all work out. When you are listening to you inner light the entire universe is conspiring in your favor. ((my take on The Alchemist))

You are amazing and you can do this. One step and one breathe at a time. You are never alone.

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