Written December 2014
So, I shall write. An outpouring flowing from the soul through the finger tips. Discovery in the process.
The University of Virginia.
Blood is oozing out of every artery. The surgeons frantically search the source of the bleed, until they realize that they themselves are bleeding as well. The only way to stop the bleeding is for the patient to wake up, to realize that everyone is bleeding. We are all the problem. And we will not be able to stop others from bleeding until we first stop our own blood.
The air is heavy. With every step, the pressure weighs you down a bit more. You feel it submerging through your body, air full of inescapable pain and suffering. But that is what life is. Life is suffering (dukha). Suffering is inevitable. The suffering is there, whether we look it in the eye or not. We cannot alleviate its existence. But we can change how we handle suffering.
We allow the suffering to serve as a stimulus for change. Let the suffering transform us. Let the suffering motivate us. Let the suffering be what brings us together and unite with one another. Let the suffering lift us up. Let the suffering stop ourselves from bleeding so that we can stop the blood from oozing out of our neighbor.
This last semester at the University has been so painful because it hits the core of our being. It does not simply make us question rape, but digging more deeply into our society that creates rape. We feel corrupt ourselves because we create a society that does such horrible things. We don’t want to believe that we could be a part of creating something so sickening. So we point fingers at others. But when you point one finger, you have three pointing back at you. We need to face the skeletons of our society that we continue to brush to the side. We need to see that we are those skeletons. We need to question ourselves.
But maybe, questioning ourselves and our actions isn’t such a bad thing. Even though we may not have noticed the skeletons before, they have always been there. And if we never acknowledged them, they were never going to go away. But now, we are forced to hear their voice screaming, popping out at every corner you turn. Inescapable. And since we cannot escape our own darkness, we must learn to be with it. Not to allow it to remain. But to be with it, to understand where it came from. And once we see the skeleton for what it is, then, and only then, can the skeleton decompose into the earth, making the soil fertile for trees to grow into something new inside of us. Without the skeleton, there can be no tree. The tree of change.